I recently received a text that made me reevaluate one of my many theories. The text said "Hey P, moved to Texas. Just wanted to let you know that I've been dating someone seriously." Wait. WHAT? The text was from Aaron. The ONE. I haven't spoken to Aaron in 2 years. He emailed a year ago, the standard How's life? email. I haven't seen him since I boarded a plane after breaking up with him 3 years ago. Wait, take that back. I saw him at a race, but he didn't see me. I was pissed that he appeared to be better looking. Why couldn't he be bald and fat? My only consolation was that he appeared shorter. I was perplexed with the text. I assumed he was dating this whole time. In fact, I'd seen pictures of him on his brother's facebook with the same girl he'd cheated on me with. (She'll remain nameless.) When I mentioned that to a male roommate he responded with, "Well, doesn't it soften the blow knowing he cheated on you with his soul mate?" Wrong answer, dude. Initially, after the break up I thought we'd get back together. I hung on to every last aspect of the relationship.And for the first month after the break up I would spend my days crying and telling anyone who listened that I hated him. But he would call or text every night and I'd be better. Until we said goodnight. Then I'd be a mess- AGAIN. I ruined myself over this guy- mentally and physically. Why? Because he was THE ONE. You know, THE ONE! That whole fairy tale misconception that there's THE ONE out there for everyone. You just have to look hard enough and hold on tight when you find him. Blahblahblah! I call bull shit. "Bull Shit!" So, I concocted my own theory of THE ONE.
I believe that there are many ONEs out there. (Yes, I made something that is technically singular plural. I realize that this is improper, but it's a theory so just go with it.) There is THE ONE who you first fall in love with. THE ONE you get your first kiss from. THE ONE who teaches you new things. There is THE ONE who crushes your self esteem. And THE ONE who is your biggest cheerleader and shows you just how amazing you are. There is THE ONE who makes you question your beliefs. And there is THE ONE who breaks your heart in a completely absolute way. And yes, in the end, there is THE ONE that you marry. These guys that I dated (and who had the privilege of being called my boyfriend) were all at one point THE ONE. There was Nic, my on-off college boyfriend. He was THE ONE who showed me that just because a guy's a great friend doesn't mean that he'll be a great boyfriend. There was Jaime, he was THE ONE who was way too smart for me. He read books and listened to music that I hated. Why did I try to be something else for him? Ugh. There was Brian, who was THE ONE who wanted to get married and have babies right away. I was 22! Too soon. There was Hritz, he was THE ONE who constantly told me that I was beautiful and smart. (Serious self esteem booster) But when it became long distance I was the one doing the traveling. Eventually I realized that I shouldn't have to beg my boyfriend to see me. Hritz, was also, THE ONE who I decided to get back together with. But nothing had changed. The saying goes, if it's not broken, why fix it? In this case, it was not fixed- it was still broken. And there was Aaron. He was the only guy that I thought I was going to marry. Clearly, he was not THE ONE. In fact, he'd be THE ONE (said ominously to denote that he's an ex and all around bad dude. He's the guy in all black in the fairytale to let you know he's not the Right ONE). Yin and yang, one and the same.
But back to the text. How should I respond? My mean side wanted to text back "Who is this?" or something bitchy like "Don't screw this one up." Another part of me wanted to say something nice like, "Hope all's well with you and good luck in Texas." I eventually opted for neither. Silence.
**Listening to Pandora as I write this and Alanis' "Unsent" is on!!
"I used to be attracted to boys who would lie to me, and think solely about themselves". True. "Used" to.
PS- I really don't spend all my time wistfully staring out the window thinking about dudes. Hopefully, future posts will show that.
